Before answering the question of EQ vs. IQ, let’s define them both. The most commonly recognized is IQ, which is the measure of one’s intelligence. The higher your IQ, the smarter you’re supposed to be. Think of IQ as your “book smarts.”
EQ, on the other hand, measures one’s emotional intelligence, which is where the debate begins. Many experts argue that EQ is more important because it’s all about managing your emotions and acting appropriately through self-awareness and self-regulation. People with high EQ have better social skills and manage relationships better. Furthermore, statistics say that 90% of top performers have a high EQ.
You could say EQ is your “street smarts.”
So, which one is more important when it comes to EQ vs. IQ? Well, for parents and children, the safe answer is both are equally important. But that’s sitting on the fence. So we’re going to go out on a limb to stimulate some conversation.
EQ is more important for parents, and IQ is more important for their children.
That’s right. We said it.
Hear us out. Here are the arguments.
EQ vs. IQ – Parents Need EQ to Teach IQ
One article we found, generally argued that EQ was more important, especially when it comes to social-emotional learning (SEL). It states research claiming that, “approximately 50% of kids enrolled in SEL programs had better achievement scores, and almost 40% showed improved grade-point-averages. These programs were also linked to lowered suspension rates, increased school attendance, and reduced disciplinary problems.”
It sounds like the argument that, when students learn EQ, they achieve more and struggle less, right?
But who is teaching the SEL program? That’s right; adults are.
We contend that EQ and SEL are caught and not taught. In other words, if the adult cannot model emotional intelligence and social-emotional learning, the kids won’t get it no matter how much information there is. Therefore, when it comes to the home, it all starts with the parents. Parents cannot give something they have not received. As per an article in Today’s Parent, “Parents begin teaching emotional literacy to their kids from infancy.”
EQ vs. IQ – Children Need IQ to Start Learning EQ
An interesting study on ScienceDirect.com compared the importance of EQ vs. IQ with 60 students at a post-secondary level. The results, as expected, argued that EQ was highly significant. However, the study also found that higher IQ had a substantial influence on academic performance. It also stated that IQ does not change significantly after adolescence, whereas EQ has the capacity for development through one’s entire life.
We consider early education the single most critical factor for future success outside of the love and support of the family at home. But even when a child comes from a suboptimal parenting situation, IQ still sets the foundation for a lifetime of learning. It is even more essential, for better or for worse, that our education systems measure academic achievement first and dictate all future learning opportunities. Thus, we stress that developing a child’s IQ first should be a priority. There is, however, one big catch, which brings us to our last point.
Using EQ to Unlock IQ
Our final argument is that without EQ, we cannot unlock the potential of a child’s IQ. Hence, we say that it starts with the EQ of the parent or the teacher to help the child with IQ development. Parents and teachers have the primary responsibility to create and manage the social-emotional learning environment for children. When we fall short of this responsibility, our kids fall short in IQ as well.
Consider for a moment parents and teachers that discipline children harshly for poor academic performance. If the child’s brain associates learning with fear, the young brain loses the capacity to retain and apply information by being in a constant state of stress. The entire body suffers, and performs accordingly on all levels.
Some parents overprotect their children out of fear. These parents do not have the EQ to regulate their own emotions of anxiety, which, in turn, affects the children. If children are not allowed to struggle and experience emotional pain, they will not have the resilience as adults to learn and grow. These children would instead choose things that feel “good” versus the “hard things” that require persistence and perseverance—all missing because of overprotective parenting.
When parents with high EQ, work together with their children to unlock IQ with ample social-emotional support, the magic happens. It’s the reason we define EQ as being intelligent about your emotions and then using those emotions to unlock your intelligence. When parents, using their EQ, show children how to regulate emotions, their kids can use their brain capacity to focus on IQ. And with a strong IQ, these children will have opportunities for the rest of their lives to develop EQ. It’s the gift that keeps on giving.
So, let’s help our kids with the “book smarts” before they need to go out into the world and gain “street smarts.” How about it?
If you’re a parent wondering where to start with this, don’t worry. We’re here to help. Remember, EQ develops over a lifetime, and it’s never too late. Feel free to check out our free EQ mini-course. You can also attend a live game demo to see how we play games with parents and children to use EQ to unlock IQ.