Many parents are rightfully concerned about the effect of a prolonged shutdown of school systems and social systems on their children started with the pandemic in 2020. And yes, there are ample reasons for worry. But one of the potentially positive outcomes has been increased discussion around social-emotional development for children.
What is Social-Emotional Development?
It’s easy to understand social-emotional development if you compare it to physical development. As parents, we hope to provide the right physical environment that supports a child’s growth into a strong and healthy adult. We know if a child eats right, exercises, and practices proper hygiene, they can avoid physical challenges that prevent them from living a strong and happy life.
Therefore, just like physical health, social-emotional development is how we help our children develop mental strength and health. Through social-emotional development, we can help them avoid mental challenges that prevent them from living a whole and happy life.
It also makes sense that the more challenges there are in a physical environment, the more physically resilient we want our children to be. If anything, COVID-19 is a stark reminder never to take health for granted and that preparation, versus panic, is the key. Shouldn’t we take the mental health of our children just as seriously?
How Social-Emotional Development has Changed in 2020
While government departments for mental health and departments of education have formally recognized the importance of social-emotional development, the events of 2020 have added a new dimension to the conversation.
First, let’s take a look at a traditional application of social-emotional skills. According to Pathways.org, some examples of social-emotional skills in use are:
Recognizing if someone is sad, and asking if they’re ok
Expressing yourself with your friends in a different way than with your parents
Understanding your thoughts and feelings, and being able to relate to others
No doubt that these skills are useful. The earlier you can learn them, the more opportunities to live a happy and fulfilled life there will be. But what do those skills look like from 2020 and on?
How can you recognize when someone is struggling with mental health? And how can you talk to them about it while avoiding stigmas or shame?
How can you express yourself with different people, especially if you have different social, cultural, or political views? We are experiencing one of the most divisive periods in history, and in some areas, it’s only getting more polarized.
How can you understand your thoughts and feelings amidst all the “noise,” and still relate to others while in continued isolation? According to Gallup, which has been tracking the emotional toll of the global pandemic, “self-reported worry soared during the first month of restrictions put in place to limit the spread of COVID-19.” But there seems to be hope, however, as Gallup states that, “In recent weeks, however, Americans have experienced less negative emotions and have reported an increase in happiness.”
The question is then, what are the necessary skills we all need to manage negative emotions and increase happiness? Beyond that, how will you teach them to your children to make them future-ready and resilient?
Emotional Intelligence is the Starting Point for Social-Emotional Development
Although social-emotional skills take time to develop, emotional intelligence is where it all starts. The more children interact in an environment with high emotional intelligence, the better chance they have for healthy social-emotional development.
We define emotional intelligence as being intelligent about our emotions and using our emotions to unlock our intelligence.
Consider that two of the first pillars of emotional intelligence are self-awareness and self-regulation. If you don’t know what you’re feeling, you won’t know how to respond appropriately. And if you can’t respond properly, you’ll be in a constant state of dysregulation and be unable to practice healthy social-emotional skills at all.
How to Start Social-Emotional Development
It all starts with emotionally intelligent parents and teachers. One principle we teach is that emotional intelligence is caught not taught. In other words, parents and teachers must be the models for social-emotional skills first. Now let’s get real; this is more often than not, easier said than done. After all, as parents and teachers, we’re all facing an unprecedented time of social-emotional upheaval ourselves.
The good news is that parents and children can learn emotional intelligence for social-emotional development together. The better news is that if you, the parent, are courageously vulnerable with your children as you learn social-emotional development yourself, the bond you’ll forge with them creates a lifetime of benefit.
And the best news? It’s never too late to get started. As we learn our lessons from 2020, there are continual opportunities to turn tragedy and turmoil into transformation. We encourage you to stay open and explore what social-emotional development could mean for you and your family.
Feel free to try our free mini-course on emotional intelligence. Learn how we use neuro-gamification (combining game dynamics and brain science) to accelerate social-emotional development for the whole family. Consider getting certified to help others do the same.