CEOs and managers will tell you that emotional intelligence is essential. Harvard certainly agrees. But what about parenting your children? While research shows us that emotional intelligence sets 90% of top performers apart in business, how can we translate the same skills into our parenting so our children enjoy the same results?
How Much of Parenting is Leadership?
How responsible are we for leading our children? It’s an interesting question. As parents, we know we should love and nurture our kids, but leadership? Let’s break It down.
We define leadership as what you do to influence and inspire others. Many have influence but fail to inspire, and vice versa. And of course, as a parent, you have a tremendous level of influence on your children. But how much do you inspire?
Unfortunately, many parents use their influence for authority and control. It’s not always intentional. Driven by personal insecurity, parents often impose an emotional legacy upon their children out of a well-intentioned desire to see them succeed. Think Tiger Moms, Helicopter, and Snowplow parenting. These forms of parenting may have influence, but they don’t inspire—especially long term.
Emotional Intelligence for 20/20 Parenting in 2020 and Beyond
As parents, we would love to know we’re always making the best decisions for our kids, especially this year during a 2020 pandemic and political unrest. It’s all easier said than done, of course. The challenge is that parenting is the ultimate long-game. It’s a marathon and not a sprint. Decisions you make today won’t show their long-term effects for decades.
You’ve heard the phrase, ‘hindsight is always 20/20.” Think about a lot of the parenting advice out there. It’s much easier to give “expert” parenting advice after you’ve raised (studied) kids and have positive results. But what about during the thick of things and the heat of the parenting moment? How do we use 20/20 vision as parents in the day-to-day without having a magical crystal ball to tell us the future?
Trust Your Emotional Intelligence to Guide Your Leadership
Organizations like 6Q will tell you that emotional intelligence is “the ability to recognise, understand and handle your own emotions, and those of the people around you. People with a high degree of emotional intelligence know what they are feeling, what their emotions mean, and how these emotions can affect other people.”
Now, instead of company leadership, apply this definition to parenting your kids. As a parent, you can handle your emotions first, then help your kids do the same. You’ll also know how your emotions can affect the entire family.
That’s where emotionally intelligent leadership starts for your kids. The more you can help your kids with their emotions, you’ll not only influence, but you’ll know how to inspire. And the best part is, you won’t have to worry whether or not your decisions today are perfect for their futures. Your children will naturally have the foundational skills for whatever their future holds. You can trust yourself as all true leaders do.
Emotional Intelligence, Just Like Leadership, Is Caught not Taught
According to the Gottman Institute, “If leaders fail in driving emotions in the right direction, nothing they do will work as well as it could or should.” Again, the same thing applies to parents, which is the reason we teach that emotional intelligence and leadership are caught not taught.
What we mean is that the best way to learn emotionally intelligent leadership, as it applies to parents, is to spend time with other emotionally intelligent parents. One word of caution, though. Just because someone is a leader at work, it doesn’t mean they’re an emotionally intelligent parent at home.
At this very moment, parents, especially those in the professional management class, continue to wrestle with the integration of work and family. We realize that leading in the workplace is much different than leading one’s family during a lockdown. The emotional testing is constant, and we certainly empathize.
Let’s Influence and Inspire for 2020 and Beyond
Yes, 2020 has been a challenge. But we believe parents can rise to the occasion with emotional intelligence and a redefined sense of personal and professional. Not only will we influence and inspire our kids, but we’ll also become the influential and inspirational leaders that we need in business.
If you’re interested in learning more about emotional intelligence and where to start for children, parents, and leaders, try our free EQ mini-course. You can also learn about how we’re combining game dynamics and brain science for the fastest way to learn emotional intelligence. Join us for a live demo and consider becoming certified in our neuro-gamification program.